Lucky Me!!

***Laugh*** The Corgis must be Cardigans, cause they are mostly laid back, except at play time. They take the naps with us, no problem...and let me know when they need to go out...mostly. They are all now over a year old and we still have a dining room carpet that should be traded in for some thing that does not have the pee smell that still attracts them to pee when its too cold or too hot to go out, or when they cannot get my attention fast enough, so they can go out to pee! Let's just say that the crate training did not work out so well for me with these pups. It's funny though...they will come to me after the fact and be real penitent...or when I discover the spot, and say, "OK, who peed on the carpet?" Usually the one that did it looks quite contrite, ears laid back, sad look on their face...they know it's wrong! *sad smile*

No Need...

No Need

I peak thru the drapery to investigate the weather
And see that it is the same as yesterday...damp and chilly.

So I continue straightening the bedclothes, with the thought
Of slipping into the warm flannel, my head sinking into the fluffy pillows.

No need to get up just yet
Today the same as yesterday, the same as the day before...

I lie with my cat who has flopped himself up tight to me.
He grooms himself for a moment or two...

Then just snuggles into me to sleep...

No need to get up just yet...

Today the same as yesterday, the same as the day before...

No need...but I want!

+++ Please Note: This poem was written between the time I had to put my Dachshund-Terrier, Maxie, "down" and I bought M. the English Bulldog pup he always wanted. Lizzy (Elizabeth Jane I) and I got into a schedule and we still got naps in...until we adopted the brother-sister Welsh Corgi-Mix pup duo, Schroeder and Peppermint Patty from a local rescue group. Our days of naps - just because - were definitely over! *Smile* +++

Tree House

Well, the trees have filled out in the backyard, and now I realize I have very little sun on the deck for my plants and tomatoes. I keep moving them so they can get every little bit of sunlight possible. That's the downside to having a "tree house". *Smile*
The fence is up...sort of...at least one panel is not attached to the post properly and the gates have "holes" big enough for our Welsh Corgi-mix pups to get through to the street behind the house. We are not happy with the guy who put it up, which is unfortunate. We would have given him much more business...and for a young guy working for himself, with help from his Dad and wife, and an occasional helper...having satisfied customers should be his priority. Especially, when we have many friends who we could reccommend him to, or not! When I call and he does not return the call...and when he finally makes an appointment to come to do adjustments and then does not show up, or call to cancel, or to make his excuses, that's just plain rude!
We have found that trying to get local contractors to do things around our home is aggravating most of the time! Not always, but most of the time!
Anyway...going to go "chill" on the deck on my jute and wood rocker-loveseat (Cracker Barrel) which the puppies decided needs to be reupholstered, so they gave me a headstart by chewing the jute strings. Thank goodness I have a cushion to put on it! *Smile*

Unfortunately...Off-Line

Sorry, but I am having some health issues right now...my Carpal Tunnel is inflamed, literally!! Hopefully, steroid shots will help?

Having one of my "episodic periods of worse pain than usual" in my back and legs..old injury/nerve damage. Had another MRI of my upper back, to check on my herniated disc at T1-T2 also.

Usually, I can ignore the bad pain when scening, 'cause the "erotic/good pain" makes me feel wonderful! But I am way past the young submissive stage, where I could kneel for hours at the foot of my Master!!

And right now, having to administer to MY submissive would only worsen my ailments. So playing Domina is out too.

And my right knee has caused me to get my first cane...arthritis only? Not sure yet, had x-rays taken.

Anyway...too many "issues" to worry about starting anything new, even if someone still wanted to...I do not/cannot!

Thanks anyway!

Raevenne

"Of all sad words of tongue and pen the saddest
of these are it might have been." ~~J.G.Whittier

***Picture Credit: Alain Daussin***

Cynicism...

My sister wrote to me, very upset, telling me what her supervisor said to her today:

My manager called me "cynical".

Why she called me that is because I am not all excited about the work I have accomplished.

But that is me.

Sorry people!

I guess that makes me cynical.

Write me about your thoughts…

So, this is what I wrote to her:

Well, let’s see…What does “cynical” mean first of all??

cyn·i·cal (sĭn'ĭ-kəl)
adj.

1. Believing or showing the belief that people are motivated chiefly by base or selfish concerns; skeptical of the motives of others: a cynical dismissal of the politician's promise to reform the campaign finance system.
2. Selfishly or callously calculating: showed a cynical disregard for the safety of his troops in his efforts to advance his reputation.
3. Negative or pessimistic, as from world-weariness: a cynical view of the average voter's intelligence.
4. Expressing jaded or scornful skepticism or negativity: cynical laughter.

cyn'i·cal·ly adv.
cyn'i·cal·ness n.

Ok, well I suppose that maybe #3 and #4 could somehow apply to you. But what’s the big deal?

I think that you are more “cautious” than “cynical”, you can tell her from me. And why are you cautious? You have life experience that’s makes you that way.

You are not going to get all whooped up about your sales/contracts yet, because let’s face it, it is not enough for you to live on yet, is it? You are no where near the point you want to be.

People who get all whooped up about a small victory will crash hard when they have a little plateau, and become discouraged and then fail.

People like you, who give yourself a little smile in your bathroom mirror and say a prayer that things keep moving in a straight and upwardly motion, will more likely not collapse when you hit a snag, and will just shrug it off and keep moving!!

You’re the one I’d rather be, sis!!!

Keep up the good work!!

Each today, well-lived, makes yesterday a dream of happiness and each tomorrow a vision of hope. Look, therefore, to this one day, for it and it alone is life. -- Sanskrit Proverb

Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission. --Eleanor Roosevelt

"Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through
experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened,
ambition inspired, and success achieved."     ---Helen Keller 

Autumn!

My favorite season! At least, until it gets real cold and starts to snow! *Smile* I still have not gotten into any kind of a rhythm yet, now that I am a "stay-at-home" - for good. I get depressed about that too. I'd much rather be back the way I was before November, 2003...when things seemed to go badly where my health was concerned. But still, I was able to do things in 2004...went to Florida with my sub, and let him see what domination was all about...as he was trying to work his way to being a Dom...but still, for some scenes, came back strong as his Domina!

Then in April, 2004, met my last Master. I spent more time with him then with any other dominant I have had. But after five months, he told me he felt like I was leading two lives, and he did not have one. Wow! That cut deep! So, I thought about that and all the other little nasty things he could say to me...how he blew his temper for stupid shit, how trying to teach him things on the computer had me in tears, most of the time, ready to pack my shit and leave for home...and I decided that perhaps, the bad outweighed the good when it did not feel like fun anymore...and my own husband never talked to me that way, ever! So, I ended it.

After that, I played with a few Dom/Top friends, and a few new ones, but that was all it was - play. I will say that I had one tremendous experience with one Dom/Top...I came hard with his fingers, his cock - vaginally and anally...so many times that I thought it must be a "fluke". I went very deep with him, but I have done that with others, so that was nothing new...but the scene was different, as it usually is with a different Dom/Master/Top. As it turned out, it was a fluke, the second time we were together, could not match the first time! *sad smile* And I realized I was correct, he was trying to use hypnosis non-consensually. When I gave him permission to use it in a scene with me...he stopped playing with me. Guess his thing was to try and see if he could get away with it, and when I gave consent, it was no longer a thrill for him. Too bad, so sad! (Not!)

I have one long term online/cam "Daddy"...whom I believe I will never meet in real life. It is difficult to even meet him online anymore with his working hours, his homelife, etc. Oh well!

I met another "Daddy", who I thought might work out...and he is even in very close proximity to me...but he sort of "went away" with long periods of time in between meeting online, so I figured he was no longer interested. He popped back up again recently...but I do not hold my breath that anything much will happen...we have not even spoken on the phone! And I cannot commit to anything without hearing the dominant's voice first! Voices are important to me...when it comes to the dominant's especially...not so much for my subs.

I finally got my carpets cleaned! About two weeks ago...but still have not called to get someone out to clean the house. I do not know what's wrong with me...I want the house clean! But I sort of hate spending the money, still hanging on to the notion that I should be doing it all myself, I guess. And I hate the idea of strangers in my house, and I worry what they might think when they come into my office and see all my BDSM stuff...not toys and implements - those would be hidden in our toybags and the chest in the family room. But rather my sculptures and my BDSM plush bears and my BDSM books in my bookcase.

I also have my altar in my office/study too...filled with candles, crystals, angels, chimes, a pentagram on a disc, rosaries, etc. I also have some Wiccan books, though I am not a practicing Wiccan. Just a part of my exploration of metaphysics. I am a Reiki Master/practitioner and an ordained minister though. *smile* Not using it right now...but perhaps someday...

I just seem to have so much to do, and no drive to do it! *Sigh* I have subs, but never get to see them! Maybe if I had a dominant in my life again?

Oh well!

Quiz Results - Interesting

Your power is: Clairvoyance

Explanation: Your power is that you can
look into the future and see what is coming.
How far and long you can look is all depending
on your skill level. This can, as all powers,
be used in both evil and good. Even if it may
seem like a boring ability it is a huge
responsibility for the carrier, becase they are
constantly tempted with doing the wrongs deeds
(e.g. cheat on a test). It takes high morals to
not be brought down with it.
Therefore you fit with this power quite well.
You take responsibility and do what is the
right thing to do. This does not make you a
saint, since you're only human after all. But
it makes a trustworthy person and you are loyal
to camrades and/or team mates. In school you
were probably a good student. If you were
social varies from person to person, but most
clairvoyant people tend to prefer their own
company or that of close friends and family.
That is because you are wise and knows how to
treasure the reliable in your life, since you
know popularity can be a false element. You are
also not that big on taking risks and prefer
what is already explored. That is because you
don't like suprises, they can turn out bad and
then you won't be in control.

Negative aspects: Since you're always
doing the right thing and being trustworthy all
the time you can become frustrated. Also, all
that you carry on your shoulders may stress you
out. You need to relax to be in good mental
shape.

"If you can give your son or daughter only one gift, let it be enthusiasm." ---Bruce Barton

You don't have to deserve your mother's love.
You have to deserve your father's. He's more particular.
--- Robert Frost, Interview (1963)

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Dedicated To A Special Man...

MY PA

My Pa can light my room at night
By just his being near
And make a fearful dream all right
By grinning ear to ear
My Pa can do most anything
He sets his mind to do
He'd even move a mountain
If he really wanted to
My Pa can sweeten up a day
That clouds and rain make gray
And tell me funny stories
That will chase the clouds away
My Pa's the only one on Earth
I can tell my troubles to
His arms are house and home to me
His face's a pretty poem to me
My Pa's the finest man
I ever knew
I only wish that you
Could know him too...

[Witten by M.Leonard & H.Martin, 1965]

I used to sing this Barbra Streisand song to my brothers and sisters, and then I sang it to my own kids, along with all the other songs on the "My Name Is Barbra" album. It touched me deeply and sometimes when singing it my voice would crack, because I would get so emotional.

My Dad died at the age of 42 of a brain tumor, when I was just 16 years old. I never felt very close to my Dad, although I really wanted to be. My Dad did not do the things in the song that seemed so sweet to me. Not his fault, it was the way he was raised. I knew he loved me and my siblings and our Mom, but he had a difficult time expressing it.

Luckily, my children had a Daddy who hugged and kissed them all the time, spent time with them, and was the best Daddy he could be when they were growing up, even though he never had a father of his own, to show him the way it's done. He still is their Dad, even though they are adults, and they go to him for advice, and to talk about the things going on in their lives.

I thank my husband for being the father our children needed growing up, and still need today!

*Kisses and Hugs Darling*

Adrienne And Her Daddy...About 24 Years Ago...And She's Still Daddy's Little Girl!
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To my husband, one of the very best fathers I know...and to all you guys out there who take your role as "Father, Daddy, Stepfather, Uncle, Grandfather, Godfather, Mentor, Role Model, etc." seriously...

I wish you the very best for Father's Day this Sunday! I hope you have fun and the people in your life show you how special you are to them!

*Kisses and Hugs*

[Photo: Jeremy And Daddy In Berlin, 1979]
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